December 2011
68 posts
The Black Keys - Submarine.
This is my favourite...
Why being a girl isn't working out for me:
Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
Uterus: You mother fuckers.
Torso: CONTRACT!
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.
Janelle Monae - Cold War
“Write drunk; edit sober.”
– Ernest Hemingway
Alt-J - Breezeblocks
Facebook newsfeed vent
To the people who get fraped more than humanly possible, I can no longer tell if it’s a frape, or that you are GENUINELY that weird. I suggest you change your passwords, or I am going to accept that you have an overwhelming love for badger vaginas.
To the people who say, “I’m never going to drink again” in their status. Fuck off and Die. I know I’ll see your slurring, drunk ass self on the dance...
